How to Respond to Your Pregnant Partner's Emotions

I've shared this before, but it's worth repeating that my pregnancies have been emotional roller coasters, fraught with emotional outbursts. They were rough experiences for me as well as those around me, and especially those closest to me. So, especially difficult on my partner, Jason. During one outburst last year, when he was trying to be helpful, I actually yelled at him, "You're not being helpful at all!"

When he asked what he could do to be helpful, it just frustrated me further. I was so upset that I couldn't think straight and I certainly couldn't feed him the right lines. I eventually calmed down enough to express that thought and to tell him that he was going to have to be resourceful and figure it out on his own. I encouraged him to talk to his friends or google some resources.

How to Speak Honestly and Gently During Confrontation

An argument... by Tambako the Jaguar, cc license

I had a confrontation with some roofers during the Summer. They were repairing the roof on a neighbor's house. We don't have what you would call backyards, but the back of the neighbor's house abuts a strip of our non-yard which is home to a couple of trees, two azaleas  a rose of Sharon  and our compost heap. It's not much to look at, and at the height of the Summer it was overgrown with weeds, but I have plans to convert it into a lovely outdoor space over the next couple of years.

Get Gentle by Asking Questions

Question mark by Marco Bellucci, cc license

I keep coming across this concept of being curious as an alternative to being judgmental. It keeps popping up in what I’m reading, conversations with friends, and podcasts. It’s almost as if the universe is trying to send me a message. So, okay universe, you have my attention.

It really is a great idea, to be curious about our own quirks or the behavior and motives of others, rather than judging and reacting. I’ve been developing my toolbox of strategies to be more gentle in trying situations, and I thought curiosity would be a wonderful tool to add. I thought that at the next opportunity, I would simply remind myself to be curious and notice what was happening, rather than judge and react. I didn’t really think that one through.

Avoid Throwing Poop: Talk About Feelings

Photo by Amy McTigue, as per cc license

The ability to identify and reflect others’ feelings is the foundation of empathy and active listening. It helps you take interactions beyond the level of bare facts, allowing for deeper understanding and more profound growth. It is the most effective way to develop rapport and demonstrate understanding. So, it is only fitting to begin this blogging adventure with a discussion around feelings. Whose feelings? Our own feelings. In order to walk in someone else’s shoes, I need to be able to put aside the pair I’m currently wearing. In order to recognize others’ feelings, I need to be able to identify my own.