Recently, I encountered a new idea (new to me, at least) twice in the same week. When that happens, I take notice and this occurred during the week of Christmas, so the idea found me in an especially contemplative state.
The first time I heard it was from the pastor at Greenfield Presbyterian, during one of the most child-friendly services I have ever encountered (dinosaurs and Spiderman were part of the nativity scene. True story.). We had joined our close friends and their church community for a holiday potluck and then ended up staying around for the service, since I can never say no to singing Christmas carols and lighting candles.
Honest and Gentle
Practicing empathy and communicating compassion.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Giving Thanks & Giving the Benefit of the Doubt
Thanksgiving is upon us! I love this holiday: the food, the parade, the relaxation, the food...oh, the food...
But as any holiday that involves getting together with extended family or other people you don't see regularly, Thanksgiving has it's challenges. Communication is difficult enough with the people we see everyday, but add even a thin layer of unfamiliarity, or the kind of stress associated with producing a small feast, and the possibility of unintended slights, misunderstandings, and general weirdness increases exponentially. We simply lack the ability to get into another person's head to the extent that we can say for certain what the intent was behind another's words or actions.
But as any holiday that involves getting together with extended family or other people you don't see regularly, Thanksgiving has it's challenges. Communication is difficult enough with the people we see everyday, but add even a thin layer of unfamiliarity, or the kind of stress associated with producing a small feast, and the possibility of unintended slights, misunderstandings, and general weirdness increases exponentially. We simply lack the ability to get into another person's head to the extent that we can say for certain what the intent was behind another's words or actions.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Birthday Reflection: It's time to shed "I Can't"
I turned 35 a couple of weeks ago. Gulp. It kind of feels like a big deal. Not 30 or 40 big, but still a milestone. I can remember when my mom turned 35, and that seems significant. On my birthday, I felt like I had aged. Sure, the tiredness was more likely due to the fact that we have an infant in the house or that we were all recovering from the virus from hell (and subsequently nursing the visiting company we passed it on to, sigh.), but still. I did not feel like partying.
And that works for me. Birthdays are more a time of reflection; a time when I can take stock of where I've come from, where I'm going, and - most importantly - what I've outgrown. It's been a hard lesson for me to learn (and I'm still working on it!) but I'm appreciating, more and more, the importance of letting go of those things that bog me down and keep me from growing.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Making Self-Care Happen
Two weeks ago, Jason traveled for work, leaving me with both girls for more than 24-hours for the first time since Laurel's birth. My mom came up from Virginia to help out, and Jason was away for only two and a half days, but I feel like I'm just now recovering. Laurel is going through a phase where she wants to be held, specifically by me, pretty much 24-7. It makes it hard for Cadence, who would also like a good bit of attention and who continues to try new and interesting ways to have those needs met. I'm definitely feeling the mommy-drain.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Maintain Emotional Boundaries with this Gift
A few years ago, I developed a workshop for an organization who's employees were experiencing low morale. Their jobs involved supporting others through difficult times in life and, to put it mildly, it was emotionally draining. They were sometimes treated disrespectfully by the people they were serving. They were told how useless they were, when many of them felt this work was their calling. Even when they weren't taking on direct criticism, they felt bogged down by the emotional struggles of the folks they were serving and they were frustrated by the limitations of what they could do to help.
Monday, April 7, 2014
How to Respond to Your Pregnant Partner's Emotions
I've shared this before, but it's worth repeating that my pregnancies have been emotional roller coasters, fraught with emotional outbursts. They were rough experiences for me as well as those around me, and especially those closest to me. So, especially difficult on my partner, Jason. During one outburst last year, when he was trying to be helpful, I actually yelled at him, "You're not being helpful at all!"
When he asked what he could do to be helpful, it just frustrated me further. I was so upset that I couldn't think straight and I certainly couldn't feed him the right lines. I eventually calmed down enough to express that thought and to tell him that he was going to have to be resourceful and figure it out on his own. I encouraged him to talk to his friends or google some resources.
When he asked what he could do to be helpful, it just frustrated me further. I was so upset that I couldn't think straight and I certainly couldn't feed him the right lines. I eventually calmed down enough to express that thought and to tell him that he was going to have to be resourceful and figure it out on his own. I encouraged him to talk to his friends or google some resources.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Saved by the Poop
I was becoming so frustrated that I was close to saying something that would just be hurtful or to hanging up the phone. Exactly one moment before it came to that, Laurel had a big, loud poop. I was sure that it was a blow-out, and I was saved!
Labels:
anger,
argument,
common ground,
conflict resolution,
confrontation,
emotion,
family,
how to,
listening,
Mary Pratt,
mind-body,
perspective taking,
relationship,
self-reflection,
understanding
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)